Rant about Classical Music

I got into an argument with some business associates because I said I didn't like the Monkeys, and don't get the beetles or any other kitsch band from the 60s.

The response I got accused me of judging things just because they're old, and that thinking that way is as ridiculous as saying classical music isn't good for the same reason.

I told them that I don't like classical music either, because its hard to listen to in a world which is inherently hostile, and I don't want to larp like Hannibal Lecter while everyone else is learning how to fight or getting laid in the 21st century. They asked me what kind of music I do like and I said a little bit of everything. They hit me back with "are you sure you're not a wigger?"

I tried to explain, I don't hate it because its old, I hate it because it sucks; but the accusation kept going back to me not appreciating old forms.

I can get if you were born before the 80s, you have grey hair and you like posturing as an intellectual, you might tell people you listen to classical music, but I don't believe its possible that the millennials who make it their identity actually like it. There are many little identities which zoomers and millennials latch onto to make their thing; it seems more like an example of one of those. I just refuse to believe that with how much music has advanced, people who barely have hair on their dick actually enjoy it beyond making them feel trad or sophisticated. 

I would be more convinced otherwise if people didn't feel they had to compensate for it with irony. The reason I know it's insincere is because all of the mixtapes on You tube have jokey titles to make up for how gay it is. 

They obviously know, otherwise they would just title them normally. The only reason I'm saying this is because, that little airy attitude isn't helpful when the rubber hits the road. 

The worst one says "Classical Music that Goes HARD".

When I was in school, there was a Turkish kid and a Bosnian kid who hated each other, and during the exam stress Turkish made a shitty joke about the other guy's hair, prompting him to get thrown by the color with his head smacking the floor. Bosnia was a local champion kickboxer, and even after bitch slapping him into the corner, Turkish was still yelling empty threats from across the room, telling him to roll up somewhere in the local council estate. 

Tribalism is alive and well, and losing a fight is no joke. I can't fathom how anyone can listen to fruitcake music after getting their asses kicked, or after kicking someone's ass. For people who are currently present, no classical music is applicable to the modern environment and the things which matter in it. If your preferences are that traditional and pure, and you don't have an immune system, the only thing you're going to receive from the outside world is damage. 

If a piece of music is long winded, incoherent and doesn't have any rhythm, how am I supposed to listen to it as someone, trying to make something; and if after that the explanation for why I don't like it has to be because I'm not smart enough, suck my dick. 

There's a reason it was the first thing which people flexing AI used to replicate; because these concertos or adagios, or whatever the fuck are so long and incoherent that nobody would notice the difference anyway. It's not hard for a robot to mimic given how disconnected from human emotion it is.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm retarded but I don't have the time to absorb how sophisticated it is. How about an actual beat which I can sync to the movement of my body and tap my laptop to; even drummers in Africa with bones in their noses figured out that music feels good when it taps into the human heartbeat; I will not listen to Lofi or any of that ambient shit, because I'm present in my own reality.

When I was a stupid little kid the music I liked came from video game soundtracks. I used to get butthurt when boomers or kids my age would glorify real songs as if they didn't all sound the same, but I'd assume I just wasn't smart enough to get it.

I'm old enough to know better now, and I still think weird game music is more interesting to listen to. Its written to accompany action within a premise which has already been established. This inherent layer of immersion tends to condition musicians to producing rhythms within those confines; plus the glory is the game's and not theirs, so they tend to have fun with it as apposed to mimicking whatever renowned musician it is they grew up worshiping. The most uncanny feeling is when a person my age who's into music does the thing of sucking an old musicians dick; its this cadence which I guess comes with being professional in the field.

My rotting parents brownnose David Bowie, the Beetles and Dylan, because they're in their late 50s and there probably wasn't much to listen to before that. The millennials have no excuse. I can't relate to any musician who was in a polycule back in the 60s. I get that it was so wild and transcendent when David Bowie dressed up as a spaceman, but I also get the feeling that he thinks he's better than me whenever his music doesn't sound any less ground breaking then songs written by the theatre kids at my old school, because the implication is that I must be missing something. The fact that every single one has that aloof cadence is annoying as well. It's the last attitude you want when the black kids at the back of the school bus are playing rap LOUDLY. These are the figures I'm supposed to hold onto in response? The beetles, or Bob Dylanstein with his guitar; singing about free love? I'd rather listen to something like ride of the Valkyries, because at least it was in apocalypse now. The only reason it stood the test of time to even do so comes down to its structure via the meaning tied to it; because guess what, it was written to accompany the equivalent of a 17th century action movie, in the same way video game music hits hard.

False Dichotomy

The other reason I don't like it is because before dropping out, I was taught in media studies that culture can be divided into two categories, high culture and low culture. High culture = classical music/Shakespeare, and low culture = reality TV. I tried asking the whore teacher which side Scorsese falls into, given that his movies are usually set on the street, but at the same time you can't call them trashy. I didn't get my answer, because that kind of media isn't even meant to exist according to British logic. This paradigm was perfected along with the industrial revolution: the reason "high culture" is glorified is so "low culture" can be advertised in contrast. All those posturers who pretend to have the taste of a 16th century aristocrat still have to bust a nut at some point, and they aren't going to be looking at renaissance statues when they do.

Being horny or fighting isn't low at all, it's dangerous and removed from safe society, which is the point, but it isn't low. The only reason there's so many weird shorts advertised to kids on Youtube is because, unlike in the past, the male sex drive isn't considered something worthy of refining. But considering people are going to have to engage those impulses at some point, isn't it better that art relating to it be crafted with integrity; or would you prefer that the new generations fall into the anime meme spiral after classical music fails to fulfil those impulses, the highest impulses and only ones which matter. There's a reason anime and Baroque aesthetics are inherently similar. They're two sides of the same coin.

Case in point is that both of the people I was talking to told me they came from anime and shut it off because the sissy hypno was closing in. Apparently I'm a degenerate, but I never went through that faze. I didn't need to. There are tons of cultural facets involving sex and or violence which aren't anime. Why would 90 episode boring ass shows riddled with trans conditioning and pedophilia interest me as a 13 year old. Boys like weird monsters and fight choreography. The princess shit is for the girls. I thought everyone knew that. 

The same people who call me porn sick for playing Street Fighter complain to me about porn addiction. I'm told you have to visualize women as maggots, do pushups to distract yourself, and try and let the hate overpower the lust—but if there wasn't a kernel of positivity there, there wouldn't be a draw to begin with. Once you stop treating lust and wrath as things to be ashamed of, once you stop being a pussy, you'll realize your options are either to inflict some kind of impact on the world, or kill yourself because you don't have the balls; or keep your head in the sand and pretend that your better than people living the first option because they don't understand classical music.